Importance of a Supportive Environment

A supportive home can significantly impact your child’s development and self-esteem. It encourages them to thrive. I believe that a child should feel 110% safe in their own home. Have my children ALWAYS felt safe in their home? Probably not, even though I hate admitting that. As parents, we all make mistakes, we all say things we shouldn’t say. Admitting it is half the battle, the other half is making it better so it doesn’t happen again. 

How to Create It: Encourage open communication

We’ve encouraged open communication from a very early age. There wasn’t much communication in me and my husbands home growing up, it’s was the eighties and nineties it’s just the way that it was then. However, as a teenager I remember struggling myself through the normal waves of teenage land. Not like my kids struggle but enough to have made me think, I want things to be different when I have my family. My husband and I made it a habit to communicate in front of our children when they were younger, we believe modeling is key as a parent in all aspects. As they got older, it became easy for them to share things with us, sometimes too easy if you as me! There were quite a few moments that the questions and “shares” were uncomfortable and sometimes even hilarious and as they really grow even more into a teenager the communication is becoming more and more difficult because kids want a sense of independence. My daughter is at the age where she isn’t making the best of choices but I believe because we are an open family with communication she shares with us more than most.  Though she does have consequences to her actions, I truly believe she learns her lessons through our open conversations versus the natural way my brain wants to go, TAKE THE PHONE AWAY! GROUND HER TO ROOM FOR A MONTH! My daughter often asks, “are you mad at me?” my answer is always, “no, I’m disappointed in your choices.” Then we sit and have sometimes a two hour conversation. A conversation that usually includes, why, when, who and what can we do the next time something like this happens?

How to Celebrate It: Embrace their uniqueness

This one comes easy and naturally to me. Like every parent, I love my children for who they are. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Don’t get me wrong, their are plenty of times when I long to sit by a baseball field and watch a game like a lot of parents, I sometimes dream of watching dance competition after dance competition instead of juggling therapy appointments but in the end I know I am right where I am supposed to be. A great way to embrace some children’s uniqueness are by making simple comments like “I love the way your brain works.” or “I am so proud of what you’ve accomplished this week.” Even if it’s because my daughter went to school for a full 5 days with no dismissals. Celebrate the smaller things with a simple sentence that can in the end, contribute to a healthy self confidence for your child.

How to Maintain It: Provide consistent routine

This one I struggle with. I love a routine don’t get me wrong, but having a child with ODD and Autism keeping some things the same can be difficult. Yes they are rigid, and yes they like their own routines but getting my son to take care of basic hygiene consists of constantly “making deals” as we call it in our house. Well I’ve been “making deals” with my child since he was two.